Thursday, November 25, 2021

I’m Thankful for Me!

I’ve been pretty absent from the blog for awhile, as I mostly focus on documenting my journey on TikTok, so here’s an update!


I am down 118 pounds since starting my weight loss journey on March 4 of this year. I began taking a prescription weight loss medication called Phentermine. I also started focusing on my nutrition and exercise by counting calories and working out 6 days per week. 


I started counting calories with the MyFitnessPal app. I am also a fast food addict, so I promised myself I would stop eating fried food. As far as physical fitness goes, I started out walking around the block. The next day, I walked a tiny bit farther, then a little farther the next day, and so on, and so on. Now, I am proud to say I am up to THREE miles, and honestly, I could probably do more than that. 


My year has also been filled with several vacations. I got to see Chicago, Charleston, SC, and OBX! I had so much fun on all of my trips, and while I did not go insane with my calorie intake, I did give myself a break from the workouts. 


Fast forward to October. My success was so swift and steady up until that point. From the beginning, I told myself this journey is for life, and I meant it. Through a six week plateau of losing ZERO pounds, I fought. I stuck to my workouts, ate well, and kept telling myself that even though the scale wasn’t budging, I was still improving my life and getting healthier everyday. 


I am so incredibly proud of myself. In the past, a plateau is where I would just give up. I would throw in the towel, say “eff it,” and speed to McDonald’s. Not anymore!


This morning, I was down three pounds! My hard work was so worth it, and it always will be, even when the scale or the tape measure may not reflect that. 


As we started cooking the Thanksgiving meal today, my aunt showed me a picture she was saving. 



This picture was from June. I had already lost 70 pounds, and I still looked miserable!


So today, I am thankful for my health. I am thankful for my dedication and will power. I am thankful for all I’ve done for myself and how far I have come. 


Now, let’s eat. Happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

Believe it Does

It’s so hard to look at yourself and see everything everyone else sees. 


You’re great

You’re pretty. 

You’re talented. 

You’re dedicated. 

You do some things people only

wish they could do. 


Open your eyes, girl. 


Look at not what’s right in front of you, but what’s in you. You got this. You’re strong enough for this. I promise you. 


You have been through and will go through worse. You’ve experienced things some people haven’t experienced, and you’ve had a better life than others have. 


Just because your life is different doesn’t make it any better or worse than others’. 


Life is crazy. It throws you curve balls and makes you think you can’t handle it, but sometimes it throws you home runs. Some of those you experienced early in life, and some are still yet to come. 


Just be patient, sweet girl. Believe in yourself. Believe in life. Believe that it gets better, because I promise you it does. 



Wednesday, June 9, 2021

Give Yourself Three Months

I’ve always seen the quote that says “It takes 4 weeks for you to notice, 8 weeks for your friends to notice, and 12 weeks for the rest of the world to notice the change.” However, this time, it has taken me months to notice the results of the hard work I’ve put in. 


Give yourself three months. No matter what it is. Whether you’re trying to lose weight like me, learn an instrument, be better at a sport, anything! Just give yourself THREE months, and I promise it will be worth it. 


I gave myself three months, and now I know I can’t give up. The amount I’ve changed mentally and physically is astounding to me. I have wanted to give up so many times throughout the last few months. There were days I gained weight, days I was so depressed I hated myself, and days I wondered if all of my hard work was even going to be even a tiny bit worth it. 


Well, it was worth it. It IS worth it. The reason I started this blog was so I could remember what it was like when it was all just a goal. It’s so important to remember where you came from so you can never go back there again, and only three months into my journey, I can tell you that I am so much happier where I am now. 


I’ve worked so hard, and although I’ve not yet reached my ultimate goal, I am so pleased with the progress I’ve made. It’s been a rough few months, but today, I realized all of the sweat and tears wasn’t for nothing. You can’t change overnight, and although it seems like a lifetime, it all goes by so fast in the end. So, enjoy the ride, and please, PLEASE give yourself at least three months. 

Thursday, May 27, 2021

Food addiction is real, man.


I’m not hungry. Yet, I’m sitting here doing everything I can to not walk in the kitchen and stuff my face. Food addiction is real, man. 


I used to eat when I was bored, angry, sad, happy, you name the emotion, and I was eating to satisfy it. It scares me. It scares me that after so much hard work, I still have to battle this addiction. 


Some people don’t believe in food addiction. They look at morbidly obese people and think they’re lazy or weak. And yes, part of that is true. However, there is so much behind the scenes that you don’t see. 


An alcoholic doesn’t have to drink. A drug addict doesn’t have to do drugs. But, you HAVE to eat. This addiction is something you have to face three times per day. 


Food has always been there for me. When humans let me down, food didn’t. Food was there through depression and celebrations, and it made me so happy. But the happiness didn’t last. When the good feelings I got from food were gone, the guilt set in. And I have finally realized that the one thing that has comforted me my entire life, is also what was killing me. 


The struggle is real, and although I have had major success over the last few months, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified. I’m terrified I will fall into my old habits and let food re-take control over my life. 


No matter what happens, no matter who enters or leaves my life, I have to stay in control. I have to tell myself that I am the most important person in my life and make that all-important decision. I have to decide day, after day, after day, to put my health first. 


I will not fail. I know this because I’m not doing it for anyone else this time. Not for the people who asked “Are you going to stick with it this time?” or “Should you be eating that?” But, for me, and only me. 


It’s soooo hard, but I know that I will continue to fight with everything in me. Because after all, I am the most important person in my life. 

Wednesday, May 12, 2021

Decisions

Nothing worth having comes easily. It takes strength, dedication, and perseverance to get what you want. I can promise you, that after years and years of trying it myself, wishing will get you nowhere. I always said that there was a switch in my brain that needed to turn on in order for me to start losing weight, but as I get deeper and deeper into this journey, I realize that’s not true.

It’s all about making decisions; decision, after decision, after decision. You have to wake up and decide that you’re going to change your life. If you haven’t decided, you’re not ready, and that’s okay. But if you are ready, get ready to make some difficult choices. Decide that you’re tired of the way you are and want to change. Decide that you’re going to prioritize your health over everything else. Once you make the first decision, the next one gets a little easier.

I decided I was done. I was so tired of being tired and waking up every morning with nothing exciting to look forward to.  I was sick of back pain, sick of knee pain, and I was sick of feeling like my lungs were going to collapse if I had to park any farther than the first few spots in the parking lot at Walmart. I didn’t enjoy the embarrassment of purposely arriving early at a restaurant before my friends to request a table because I couldn’t fit in a booth. I had to order slip-on tennis shoes from Amazon because I could no longer bend over to tie my shoelaces, and I had to forget even trying to sit down at an outdoor event because I knew I would break the chair.

I’ve lost 50-pounds so far, with about 150 more to go before I reach my ultimate goal. Some of the thoughts above still race through my head, but I’m working on that. I’m working on being kinder to myself. My life is slowly changing before my eyes, and although some of those decisions I was telling you about may be hard to make, I promise you each and every single one is worth it. It seems like I have something new and exciting happening every day, whether that be noticing my reflection changing in the mirror, the number on the scale going down, or somehow finding a new way to love myself just a little bit more.   

Each day is not easy, but I have decided that being happy is easier than being sad and miserable. I have to decide that every day, and sometimes it’s super hard, but I have finally decided to put myself first, and I am so excited to see what happens when I don’t give up!