It's been a long time since my first post, and guess what! I haven't given up, and I'm 30 lbs down!
I've come to the realization that all of this pain, all the hard work, and every French fry I haven't eaten, is worth it. I know I'm still at the beginning of my journey, and it will only get harder from here, but the fact that I have been going strong for 6 weeks is really something to be proud of.
I have given myself 1.5 years to reach my goal weight, but really, the goal isn't a number, the goal is to have a healthy life; a LONG life. My journey is never going to be over. I've been through this before on a smaller scale, so I know it's far from easy, and this time, it's going to be even more difficult.
I have and will cry again. I will beat myself up. I will want to break down and cave in, but as I said in my first post, giving up is not an option. I'm done sitting on the couch, wishing to be fit, hoping my dream guy will come knocking on my door, and praying that the future children I desperately want someday don't make the same mistakes I did.
You don't get those things by sitting on a couch. You get those things by working hard and fighting every step of the way. Sure, some people get lucky. Some people buy a $5 dollar lottery ticket, win $50 million dollars, and never have to work another day in their life. But then, what do you have to be proud of?
I want to wake up each morning happy. I want to wake up everyday knowing that I'm better than I was the day before. What's the point of life if you have no where to go?
I always tell myself that I wish I was the type of person who could eat McDonald's everyday and not gain an ounce, but I'm not that person. I'm the type of person who has to work hard or I fail, but guess what? I'm a Hell of a lot stronger than someone like, say...Justin Bieber!
It's hard. It sucks. I mean, at times, it really, really sucks! But I know, that the life I'm going to have, the life I've dreamed of, and the life I've gotten just a small glimpse of so far, is going to be worth every tear. For most, 30 lbs is not much, but for me, it's everything.