Dear Future Self,
OMG (10 years ago, that meant "Oh My God!), you're almost 40! It's been a decade since you took the reins on your life and started making major changes. I hope now, you can finally see that it was, and still is, totally worth it.
You started off so great, until about 4 months later. You hit a plateau. Not only with your weight loss, but also with your mind. You had many friends, family members, and co-workers around you, but no matter how many people are around, you still felt so alone.
There are so many times when you just wanted to give up. You wanted to
stay depressed, eat whatever you wanted, and sit on the couch watching
reruns of "Breaking Bad" all night. Good thing you put an end to that!
You were always one to dwell on the past and daydream about the future. I hope by now, you have stopped dwelling on things you can't change, and I hope you haven't lost your excitement for what's to come. It's still easy to get lost in the what-ifs, but now you know that by doing that, you're not going to change a damn thing.
In August 2014, you only lost five pounds. But now, I hope you've stopped adding the word "only" to any of your achievements, large or small. The definition of success is defined as: "the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one's goals." You see that? Success is not determined by how large or small the goal was. Success is success. I hope you've stopped telling people you can't be proud of the success you've achieved because they were only problems that you created for yourself in the first place. Afterall, the problems we create ourselves really are the hardest to overcome.
Ten years ago, you often wondered why life was so unfair and why bad things happened to good people. You still wonder that, but by now, I hope you've learned to stop thinking of people as good or bad. You never know what someone else is going through, even if you've been by their side for many, many years and you feel that they have told you everything about them there is to know. Trust me, there is not one person in the world, then or now, who has told even one person everything. There were people who thought you were a bad person based on certain things you said or did or judged you based oh how you looked, and there still are. They don't know all, or even half of your story, so let them think that, because you don't know their story either.
I hope you feel great naked, even no one else thinks you look beautiful in your birthday suit. It's not about how you look... It's about how you feel. I hope you've saved a decent amount of money, own a house, got married, and had children, but if you didn't, it's 100-percent okay. The most important thing is that you are happy. Not happy because you did or received something, but because you finally learned to make the best of any situation. If the world ends tomorrow and you are the only person left on the planet, you will be all you have. In reality, everyone is alone. You were all you had ten years ago, but you finally decided that being with yourself is actually pretty awesome because you, pretty lady, are awesome.
You still get sad sometimes, you still want more for yourself, and you will probably cry after reading this. They may be happy tears, they may not. You may have everything you've ever wanted, you may not. Just keep in mind that some things simply aren't in the cards for you, and that's just the way it is. It doesn't mean you are a failure or worthless. Mom and Dad didn't raise you to be a millionaire CEO, they raised you to be what you are; a good person.
Above all, never forget that everything happens for a reason, and I hope you look back at your 27-year-old self and thank God you didn't get some of the things you once thought you deserved.
Lots of Love,
The 27-year-old You
P.S. Never, ever regret the tattoo you got after you reached your weight loss goal because it meant so much to you for so long. You lost 200 pounds and haven't gained it back... you earned it!
Very inspiring letter. As someone on a similar journey I believe you have expressed very honest emotion here. You will find peace in your journey because once you open yourself up to that change, going back isn't even an option. PS- Is there anything better than trying on the dress in the size you never thought you would fit and then doing a happy dance in the dressing room??? ;) When you take care of yourself so many moments feel that way. That is my motivation to keep moving forward, even when the couch and breaking bad reruns call my name. Good luck Kara!ReplyDelete
Thanks, Courtney! And no, there is no better feeling than fitting into that dress!! I think putting myself out there like this really has made the difference. Before, I would stop after a few months, but now, I refuse to stop! I wish you luck as well! Thank you for being supportive!! :)ReplyDelete
If you have the heart of a champion, you automatically have the body of one too. You are a champion. Remember that.ReplyDelete
Thanks! So are you!! :)Delete